What I’ve learned over the past three decades of parenting is that it doesn’t just take a village to raise a child. It takes a village to raise a mom.
Now, each of my five children is the authentic, kind, delightful adult they were always meant to be. But getting them there wasn’t easy. Over the years, they’ve given me thousands of reasons to brag, dozens to want to strangle them, and a deep and sincere appreciation for Pinot noir. What carried me through was the community of moms I was lucky enough to find. Not just the women beside me at pickup, the ones who’d moved on to another carline entirely.
These generous “older moms” moved me beyond what-to-expect books into the raw, instinct-driven chaos of raising good, happy kids. When my peer moms and I were navigating the bumpy seas of potty-training and birthday parties and fourth grade drama, these older moms were my ballast. A sea of calm in the middle of the long view.
They’d already walked out of whatever muck I was in, knew how to stay in the shallow end of it, and gave me some idea of the mess still ahead. Again and again, they reminded me that there was a bright light at the end of this stretch and, if I just kept moving, I would eventually be blinded by it. They righted me when I stumbled and shared their own parenting fails so I’d know I stood in good company. In so many ways, these “older moms” not only supported me – they raised me.
They taught me that momming was meant for a village. A village where moms are not taught, they’re formed. The conversations they share as they walk together help each of them grow into the wise mom they are uniquely destined to be.
Now that I’m out of the thick of it – wiser, wearier, and humbled – I’ve decided to build a village of my own. Not out of quick fixes, snappy how-tos, or canned “answers.” Out of hard-won experience. Out of muck-made castles and broken pieces and strength we didn’t know we had. A place where moms of all ages can ask hard questions, speak truthfully, and share what we’ve learned in the trenches. One that moves beyond raising children to help us raise one another.
I’m Maureen. Storyteller. Reader. Questioner. Older mom. Welcome to the village.